I'm really into asian looking animals
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
