please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
