Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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