I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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