Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
