I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You made out with two different species that night
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
