I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
