3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
