Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
