I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize