i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
