Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
