***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
