I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize