I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Randomize
