And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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