I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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