try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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