They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i dont even know how to be here
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
