# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
