Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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