Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
