We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this boner is exhausting
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My vagina just recognized that song.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
