found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
