Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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