You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize