she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
