Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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