I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
