I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
