I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
