His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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