dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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