His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
