someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
