I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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