Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You are a genius and a whore.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
