New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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