Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
