I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
