I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
