i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
