there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
