I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
