No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
