what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
