The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
