Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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