...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize