you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
