So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
