i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize