Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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