Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish you could order shots online.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
