AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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