Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
organizing the empties. That sober.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
