so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
