i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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