Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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