i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
