whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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