I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
