I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
