Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
