So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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