if you like me you must not know who I am
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
