I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
