Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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