if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
