Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
