i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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