Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
