my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm experimenting with sincerity
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
