dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize