Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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