O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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